When I started my Yoga Teacher Training I wasn’t completely sure I wanted to become a Yoga teacher. I have been surrounded by some great role models and my fellow students all had an outstanding practice already. “Can I be a good teacher, a teacher that radiates compassion and knowledge, could I possibly live up to those who’s teaching styles I admire?”
I just completed my Yoga Teacher Training on Saturday and I can tell you now that I after going through the ups and downs during training and teaching some classes – I am completely sure that this is what I must do! Teaching Yoga gives me a ability to share my heart, the knowledge that I gained and a feeling of enlightenment with others. I do get a little nervous before a class but that’s because I want to do an outstanding job for my students. As they roll up their mat I want them to leave with a deeper understanding of Yoga and a feeling calm and peace from within.
This training was definitely a roller coaster of emotions for me. A few times, I thought to myself, just finish the training, don’t worry about the test and keep learning. My practice and understanding of Yoga will be deeper and more profound regardless of the outcome even if I don’t become a Yoga Teacher.
As I write this I am reminding myself that throughout the time of my Yoga Teacher Training I was pretty busy with my Girl Scout Troop, other volunteer positions, At home with school work, our crazy family schedule and trying to keep up the house. And of course, any time your doing something life changing life throws something big at you. And it it did. But…I managed to get through it with the help of my yoga family/tribe. Yes, they and my family helped me get through it.
Sometimes I look back and think I must have been crazy adding the commitment of studying Yoga on top of the things I already had going on! There were days when I left a Yoga class or teacher training feeling like “wow, I’ve progressed” and then that would get followed up by “what am I thinking”. Let me be clear, I mention all the things I continued to do during this training because I need to grant myself some space and grace for feeling defeated and overwhelmed at times. My plate was already spilling over but I wanted to do this. I knew the time was now!
I love to help other’s and give back to my community but I came to realize that teaching Yoga gave me a feeling like no other. I thought about the teachers or classes I enjoy and admire the most and realized the teachers all had something in common. They all have heart. You can feel their soul, their heartaches, the moments in life both good and bad shining through in their teaching. They all had the ability to be completely human with their students. Although there are times when I may take a class to challenge myself or learn something different I much prefer to be in a class that permits the feelings of love, acceptance and compassion. Yoga is more than a physical practice for me, it runs deep.
For me, Yoga is all about putting tapas, santosha, svadhyaya, and surrender (yoga terms, lol) into practice. Teaching Yoga gives me the opportunity to bring the feeling of contentment, love and acceptance to my students. I’ve lived a life filled with peaks and valleys. It has been far from perfect but that pain, the suffering I’ve lived through allows me the unique opportunity to teach from the heart. I’ll get to help people learn something life changing when they think they just showed up for a work out. Being a Yoga Teacher also grants me the perfect excuse to keep learning and seeking further understanding…and If I’m a good teacher – I’ll also get to learn things from my students.